After their first night together, Cassy always made a point of taking her rings off before they saw one another. It wasn't just a rather puritanically symbolic gesture of the fact that she was breaking her wedding vows. Not just once or twice. It was a demarcation between public and private. Of the time when she could slip loose the bonds of not just everything the world expected her to be, but everything she expected herself to be because of it.
In Alexandra's arms. She could simply be.
It was how she rested this night. So completely sated, Alexandra twined around her, ragged breaths returning to normal, the scent of lovemaking clinging to their heated skin.
She had never wanted anything more than to just stay like this forever.
She blinked. Nuzzled her cheek against Alexandra's hair. It was so rare that she was the one who did the holding, but she relished it all the same.
She couldn't have them both.
Just a week ago Jessica had told her “confidentially” that she had engineered a meeting between Alexandra and the actress Georgiana Hamilton-Ayers. She knew who the actress was, of course. Who couldn't necause with a legendary actress mother only slightly less crazed (and still living) than Frances Farmer and an addled Scottish Earl for a father Georgiana Hamilton-Ayres had managed to become one o the top ten box office draws in the world. By all accounts she was intelligent, sophisticated, witty, talented and god knows, incredibly beautiful.
Jessica had said that they had 'hit it off,” and that Alexandra had even asked Jess for the actress' private number.
Cassy shivered a little at the thought. Tugged Alexandra a little closer and felt only marginal relief when she felt the other woman sigh contentedly.
She had the number of someone who was eminiently more suited to a relationship than her-- her with the two failed (make that one and a half, she and Jackson were still staggering around) marriages, her grown son, her middle age, her... her... well, her everything.
How could Alexandra, of all people, want her everything.
And yet, she couldn't help but marvel. Here she was in Alexandra's bed,
She kissed the crown of dark hair and murmured softly, “My heart is yours,.”
Hoped the faint words were never heard because she feared that would be the undoing of them both.